It seems like everyone has a bad relationship with food.
The worst part of that is that you can't ever actually break up with food, despite the rough relationship. That would be called starvation.
So how can you reset your relationship with food?
Let's start by saying it won't be easy. After all, whatever negative relationship you have with food right now has been being reinforced every day of your life.
How It All Began
Many of us have a negative relationship with food because our parents had a bad relationship with food.
- Food being used as a reward or punishment.
- Sudden starvation cycles because of weight gain.
- Stigmatizing obesity or even "big-boned" people.
- Comments about weight even weight wasn't a real issue.
- A focus on body size/image even in youth.
How our parents saw food created how we see food.
Bad Food is Everywhere
Today, bad, highly processed food is everywhere. You can't buy a drink that doesn't have high fructose corn syrup. Every burger has additives and preservatives. We learn to see things like chicken nuggets as a meal, not as a rare treat.
While the people who promote it, the obesity epidemic seems to be related to more and more processed foods, high fructose corn syrup, GMOs, and the continual growth of
How to Change Your Relationship
The key to changing your relationship with food is to consciously change your mind:
- No food restrictions - Avoid labelling foods good or bad. Even snacks should be allowed. It's not what the food is, but how much and why we eat it.
- Honor hunger - When you're hungry eat. Be sure to separate real hunger from boredom, sadness, happiness, or any other form of emotional eating.
- Variety is key - Eat a variety of foods. The more colors, shapes, textures, etc., the less likely you are to overeat. The experience becomes something you can look forward to.
- Dirty plates - Don't be afraid to leave food on your plate. We're taught to clean our plates, but as we age, less calories is a better idea.
- Intuition - Let your body tell you when it's hungry. Try to separate your emotional hunger from your actual hunger.
- Positive self-talk - This is a work in progress. Be sure to speak to yourself that way. You will make mistakes. Be kind to yourself.
- Respect fullness - Stop when you're comfortably full. Try not to go beyond that point.
Mindful eating is the key. No TV. No phones. No talking. When you're eating, just eat.
If you pay attention to every bite, you will be much less likely to just keep stuffing yourself without noticing how full you are. You're also likely to eat more slowly. That will give you stomach time to signal your brain that you're full.
Changing your relationship with food will take time, but it can be done.
Be proud of every positive step and forgive yourself your missteps.
Start today, but give yourself lots of time.